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  • Writer's pictureFrank T Bird

America's Desperate Need To Stay On Top Is Like a Bad Joke

And the punchline is total nuclear obliteration

Let’s start at the beginning.

Frank, you can’t say Americans any more. It’s the United States.

Fuck you, okay? They are just words. And I like to say ‘The Americans’ because it has this vibe of being an old cowboy movie because that’s where the Americans are still stuck. Those who back their government in these sick conflicts are anyway.

We reserve the right to bear arms, he yells while drinking and screaming about the Constitution, in between laying fists on his tiny wife whom he met in high school when he was a testosterone-loaded quarterback with nice teef.

I’m a Goddamn veteran he yells. How dare you insult me.

Yeah? Well, I’m a fucking human, Motherfucker. I don’t give a fuck if you have killed on behalf of the military-industrial complex. We are the same, and you won’t get any more respect than the veterans on the other side, who are also sadly mistaken about what it means to fight for a lost cause.

It’s not that I don’t respect you. It’s just that I don’t respect you any more than anyone else.

I’m sick of arguing with people about the war in Ukraine.

I’m sick of this fucking narrative about how Russia is just the dumb psychotic son of a bitch who needs to be stopped.

This isn’t Rocky IV, you shitheads.

When will we learn that our narratives result from decades of media conditioning and total fear of living in a society where white people are in the minority, like carrot-nosed snowmen in LA?

If you haven’t worked out who the real bad guy is, you will sadly be on the wrong side of history. Because we are on a direct heading towards World War Three now.

Somebody has blown up a dam, and suddenly, that’s no longer an act of war. It’s an act of terrorism as long as it’s not the ‘Allied forces’ who have done it.

But Frank, haven’t the ‘Allies’ blown up a dam during wartime before?

Thanks for your question. Why yes, yes they have.

The Dam Busters is a decent propaganda film about how the Allies used bouncing bombs to destroy dams in WW2. And yes, it’s a true story, in case you were wondering.

But they didn’t make a film about when the US took out one of the biggest dams in Syria in 2017.

Near the height of the war against the Islamic State in Syria, a sudden riot of explosions rocked the country’s largest dam, a towering, 18-story structure on the Euphrates River that held back a 25-mile-long reservoir above a valley where hundreds of thousands of people lived (Source)

But that doesn’t matter, does it?

Cos the Americans did it.

But we don’t need to go into all that. As I said, if you don’t know who is the one who has been causing terror in the world for the last fifty years, I cannot educate you. You will just go red in the face and call me a Commy or Putin’s bitch or something.

And you’ve heard that we are on target for WW3, but you don’t believe it.

You still believe DEMOCRACY will prevail.

You are like a starving dog waiting for his long-gone master to come home and feed him.

This time we are just about fucked.

Because there is a demented old man in the White House. And when I say demented, I’m not exaggerating.

And the Democrats say they aren’t having a debate to see who goes next. ‘They’ want Joe again. This proves how the lot of them have sold their cocks and pussies down the street to the sick pimp known as corporate America, who continue to make record profits as a direct result of drone strikes and death.

Those corporate fuckers are licking their chops at being able to convince the Democrats to keep Joe in for another term without a debate. They can’t believe their fucking luck.

Cos Joe will do whatever the fuck his corporate sponsors tell him to — especially his mates at Raytheon and Lockheed cos he’s a goddamn veteran, SON.

And we’re supposed to stand on our chairs and yell God Bless America as Joe mindlessly rambles his way towards destroying the world in a nuclear holocaust.

We’re supposed to sit here in a composed manner and say,

yeah, Russia needs to leave Ukraine, Man.

Like that even fucking means something, and like Lockheed and Joe’s other mates will just stop engaging in wars and allow themselves to go out of business if Putin backs down.

But, anyway, no one gives a fuck do ya?

  • You’re too busy learning the latest Tik Tok pelvic thrust

  • Or you’re too busy dressing your kids up in rainbows for Pride Day at kindergarten.

  • Or you’re too busy asking Chat GBH to hang out yer fucking washing and write your next fucking Medium article so yer can become an influencer and have online fans who pay to taste your anal flakes.

  • Or, you’re too busy discussing whether Ant-Man should have gotten his cock out to make him more relatable in that last film ‘Ant-Man versus The Electric Cock Ring.’

Well, what are we meant to do, Frank?

Well, Fuck knows. Go fucking tie yourself to your Local fucking MP or scream into the void of Twitter about how Rishi Sunak and Biden and his mates are empty corporate fuck ferrets.

Sure, it won’t achieve anything. But don’t just sit there, cursing the Russians, mouth gaping in shock, liquid shit pouring into your new $199 jeans from The Iconic when the first missiles are launched, like you can’t believe it’s happening.

It’s happening, And it’s not because that madman Putin just fancies a bit of extra land or that Kim Jong Young Un feels like launching a nuke for whatever reason.

  • It’s because the Americans have been waging war after war for fifty years.

  • And it’s because NATO has been expanding and expanding for fifty years

  • And it's because The Americans keep organising military coups in countries where it’s none of their business.

  • And it’s because The Americans keep creating false flags to enable their strategic movement throughout the world.

And now Iran is joining the party by developing hypersonic weapons.

Sound familiar?

It should, since The US also helped overthrow The Ukrainian government, which was Russia’s biggest trading partner and ally. They put Zelensky in there — a man who, whenever you see him in public, is openly high on crystal meth. And the Ukrainian soldiers who openly wear the Nazi symbol on their uniforms despite being requested by journalists to remove them (Source)

Anyway, fuck it. I’m not getting on anyone’s side here. That’s part of the problem. I’m saying that the people have always fought wars on behalf of the governments.

Somehow, they get our buy-in and get us to fight while they sit comfortably sipping old malt whiskey from the comfort of their six-million-dollar homes.

The point is, these wars are government v government, and even if you think you are educated on it, you don’t know shit.

It’s not about liberty or freedom or justice or any of that crap.

It’s about fucking money and power and nothing more.

As I have said, our hope doesn’t lie with humans anymore. We are on the verge of destroying ourselves.

And, if you hope God will save us, then you are barking right up the wrong alley. If God does exist, it exists in a non-dualistic way embracing both darkness and light, since a dualistic God could only be temporary in nature. Blah, blah, blah. And yeah, I might be wrong, but God ain't made an appearance thus far, so I wouldn’t bank on it.

Our hopes, instead, lie with the following:

1. Aliens

Oh, Aliens don’t exist, Frank, you idiot.

Oh, they don’t? You think we’re the only inhabited planet in this infinite universe do ya? Give it three years, and we’ll see if you change your mind on that, fuckwit.

2. AI

Oh, but AI will destroy the world, Frank. Destroy what world? This world? Don’t you think we are doing a good enough job ourselves? From where I’m sitting, we could use a little advanced intelligence on this planet. And I believe that benevolence is a natural side effect of intelligence. When you can see how the universe works, being a proper dick doesn’t make sense at all.

Anyway, fuck it

It’s not like you can do much except wait. Even if you were to protest these days, you’d get fucking tasered and maced and fucked in a cell like Julian Assange.

All I’m saying is don’t be a naive patriotic fucker. Have a proper look at what’s actually happening.

That way, when you are under your kitchen table with your kids and your cat waiting for the blast, you’ll know exactly who is to blame.

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