It's fucking Spring, and I need to write something I can feel the cold of the worked steel on the base of each hand. It’s what they call...

Sorry to interrupt, but there is a flaw in your plan We’d eaten chicken for dinner that night And chicken is always a damn...

It’s Friday Night, N I’m Grieving again Grieving for what, Frank? Is it still about Phillip Seymour Hoffman? Well, yeah, a little. I...

I’m sweatin’ like a greasy peach And I’ll be honest I just got back from the shop. I’m in the middle of a few commitments, like not to...

And the punchline is total nuclear obliteration Let’s start at the beginning. Frank, you can’t say Americans any more. It’s the United...

Use your words, Frank Last night I smacked my fucking head on the cupboard in the kitchen I was making lasagna, and my wife was drying...

And he’s gonna stick his ginger cock in yer face again Nah, he isn’t. Cos that’s what happens. Yer learn yer lesson, and everyone moves...

It’s the last night of the moon cycle So I’m sitting in the car counting mantras and breathing in all the winter traffic fumes cos my...

Our governments have no problem torturing human beings, and you could easily be next, you fuckers What do you and Julian Assange have in...

We need to write freely, or we are doomed So, there I was, writing a chapter in my new book the other day, when I realised that to make...

Think about it, for fuck's sake Well, when I say OUR writing jobs, I’m not talking about all writers. If you are the kind of nooshball...

You know Frank, good writers are good marketers these days Fuck you. In 1995 I wrote a strongly worded article in which I announced to...

Its a fair question and one that deserves a decent answer Buddhism has always had a reputation for being the most non-religious of the...

Well, ain’t that the opposite of a clickbait title? Nothing stops a writer from clicking on another writer’s blog post, like the mention...

All of this work to create a perfect society, and it could be gone just like that. I used Chat GPT the other day. And honestly, its...

And it’s about to become very obvious Have you ever seen a pantomime? It’s a traditional British farcical stage show where fat, washed-up...

I get paranoid about flying, okay? It’s not about crashing. I couldn’t give two shites about head butting the ground at sixteen million...

While corporations make billion-dollar profits in war, our world will never find peace Some idiots on Twitter are celebrating cos Putin...

My friends and I took a trip at the home of golf It’s ten am at Golf Mecca. I meet up with Gary and Tim. We take selfies to start the day...

And no, getting a fucking six-pack isn't one of them 1. Stop Begging for Sex Is there anything more pathetic than a guy begging for his...

Imagine needing to shit worse than you ever have in your whole life The first time I got it done, I was in Bangkok. It was part of a...