Frank T Bird
Are You About To Commit Suicide?
Sorry to interrupt, but there is a flaw in your plan We’d eaten chicken for dinner that night And chicken is always a damn...
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Frank T Bird
- Jun 17
- 7 min
If You Make It Through This Post Without Cancelling me, You're Better Than 90% Of Dead Beavers
It’s Friday Night, N I’m Grieving again Grieving for what, Frank? Is it still about Phillip Seymour Hoffman? Well, yeah, a little. I...
60
Frank T Bird
- Jun 9
- 4 min
It's Thursday, And I'm Doin' Dem Dishes
I’m sweatin’ like a greasy peach And I’ll be honest I just got back from the shop. I’m in the middle of a few commitments, like not to...
100
Frank T Bird
- Jun 9
- 6 min
America's Desperate Need To Stay On Top Is Like a Bad Joke
And the punchline is total nuclear obliteration Let’s start at the beginning. Frank, you can’t say Americans any more. It’s the United...
10
Frank T Bird
- Jun 2
- 5 min
I Saw Jon Hamm Having a Wank In a Van
Use your words, Frank Last night I smacked my fucking head on the cupboard in the kitchen I was making lasagna, and my wife was drying...
20
Frank T Bird
- May 27
- 5 min
Louis CK Is Back In Town
And he’s gonna stick his ginger cock in yer face again Nah, he isn’t. Cos that’s what happens. Yer learn yer lesson, and everyone moves...
50
Frank T Bird
- May 19
- 4 min
A Night On The Streets
It’s the last night of the moon cycle So I’m sitting in the car counting mantras and breathing in all the winter traffic fumes cos my...
280
Frank T Bird
- May 17
- 3 min
Julian Assange Is A Human Being
Our governments have no problem torturing human beings, and you could easily be next, you fuckers What do you and Julian Assange have in...
30
Frank T Bird
- May 16
- 4 min
The Censorship Of Literature Is Cultural Genocide
We need to write freely, or we are doomed So, there I was, writing a chapter in my new book the other day, when I realised that to make...
60
Frank T Bird
- May 15
- 2 min
AI Isn’t Coming For Our Writing Jobs, You Schmunks
Think about it, for fuck's sake Well, when I say OUR writing jobs, I’m not talking about all writers. If you are the kind of nooshball...
30
Frank T Bird
- May 14
- 2 min
Fuck Me, I Hate Marketing
You know Frank, good writers are good marketers these days Fuck you. In 1995 I wrote a strongly worded article in which I announced to...
10
Frank T Bird
- May 10
- 4 min
Why Are Buddhists Worshipping All These Gods?
Its a fair question and one that deserves a decent answer Buddhism has always had a reputation for being the most non-religious of the...
30
Frank T Bird
- May 10
- 2 min
My new book is now available for purchasing/stealing
Well, ain’t that the opposite of a clickbait title? Nothing stops a writer from clicking on another writer’s blog post, like the mention...
20
Frank T Bird
- Apr 21
- 3 min
But, Mother, What If Artificial Intelligence Destroys This Utopia Humans Have Built For Ourselves?
All of this work to create a perfect society, and it could be gone just like that. I used Chat GPT the other day. And honestly, its...
40
Frank T Bird
- Apr 11
- 4 min
Dear Americans, Your Country Is An Empty Vehicle For Corporate Fulfillment
And it’s about to become very obvious Have you ever seen a pantomime? It’s a traditional British farcical stage show where fat, washed-up...
40
Frank T Bird
- May 26, 2022
- 6 min
I Joined The Mile High Club With Myself
I get paranoid about flying, okay? It’s not about crashing. I couldn’t give two shites about head butting the ground at sixteen million...
10
Frank T Bird
- May 13, 2022
- 5 min
The Utter Lunacy Of The Military-Industrial Complex
While corporations make billion-dollar profits in war, our world will never find peace Some idiots on Twitter are celebrating cos Putin...
20
Frank T Bird
- Apr 23, 2022
- 6 min
Fear and Loathing At St Andrew's
My friends and I took a trip at the home of golf It’s ten am at Golf Mecca. I meet up with Gary and Tim. We take selfies to start the day...
120
Frank T Bird
- Jan 7, 2022
- 6 min
Three Ways To Be a Better Husband
And no, getting a fucking six-pack isn't one of them 1. Stop Begging for Sex Is there anything more pathetic than a guy begging for his...
20
Frank T Bird
- Nov 30, 2021
- 4 min
Colonic Irrigation is a Fucking Nightmare
Imagine needing to shit worse than you ever have in your whole life The first time I got it done, I was in Bangkok. It was part of a...
390
Frank T Bird
- Nov 27, 2021
- 6 min
The US Slave Trade Never Ended. It Just Got Sanctioned and Became More Advanced
Look carefully. It’s still happening, you fuckers. I was reluctant to write about this subject —mainly because I am a white person living...
50
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