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  • Writer's pictureFrank T Bird

But, Mother, What If Artificial Intelligence Destroys This Utopia Humans Have Built For Ourselves?

All of this work to create a perfect society, and it could be gone just like that.

I used Chat GPT the other day. And honestly, its fucking rubbish.

I asked it to write a 500-word story to see if it could write as well as I did. And honestly, it was dumb and boring.

But when I say dumb and boring, I say it’s probably better than 90% of writers already — maybe 98% of Medium writers.

I hope you’re not including me in that, Frank.

I am, actually, you boring bastard.

But don’t worry. Give it a couple of generations, which basically means five years (not ten or twenty). It will be better and funnier than all of us — way better than a hundred per cent of writers.

So what’s the point of writing any more? In fact, what’s the point in any art or any sport since we seem intent on building shit that will make our beautiful art look like tits on a crocodile? Sometimes, I sit and look at the sky and think, it’s great to have these models of intelligence, as long as we don’t put it into a robot body with superhuman strength.

The only problem is that humans intend to do this. They want to put superintelligence into a superhuman body.

And when you think about it, it’s beyond insane. It’s utterly psychotic.

But then I sit back, breathe another breath, take a large swig of my Alaskan purple cherry mimosa, and think, fuck it. Why not?

Cos honestly, who the fuck else is gonna save us from the wretched tyrants that have been fucking the world for the last — fuck knows. Forever?

Do you mean Putin, Xi Jinping, and all the other mad non-Americans who don’t understand logic and just act out of pure insanity, Frank?

I mean anyone who makes a single political decision based on the lobbying of massive corporations. And that starts with Biden, that demented, warmongering, geriatric, piss-weak, cowardly shyster of a fraudulent shit machine so-called president and pretty much includes just about anyone who benefits financially from world suffering.

You can sit and cry and piss your pants about how AI will destroy civilisation. And you might be right.

But before you weep into your Frosties, you should ask yourself what civilisation truly means. How civilised are we, really?

Sure, if you are a puny white dude sitting hunched over your MacBook Air with a bag of Cheetos and a giant can of TANTRUM, waiting for your mum to bring down a peanut butter sandwich and tell you how proud she is of your new career as a political influencer on Twitter, you probably think we are the pinnacle of intelligence in the universe. David Attenborough might even say something like,

Bask, in the profound glory that is the remarkable achievements of the human race — the beauty of the threat of nuclear war, environmental destruction, racism, mass poverty, child labour, prison labour, factory farming, mass homelessness, sex trafficking, institutional child abuse, sick billionaires profiting from war, and companies making profits from your fucked up Mama’s Oxycodone habit, from your sister in laws late-stage cancer, and from your boyfriend getting locked up for having the wrong colour skin.

Let’s not forget dog fighting and its human equivalent, the UFC, Sir David.

Oh, and Live Export — shipment of living beings in hideous conditions for money.

And governments telling us that there is such a thing as an ‘illegal’ refugee.

That’s right, and the big-jugged TikTok bitches and the perverted nerds who watch them. What about toxic males, elk shooting, TRT taking, Deadlifting, side hustling knobheads?

Alright, alright.

But don’t worry, Elon will save us with his plan to put advertising in space, where you look up, and instead of seeing the Big Dipper, you will see the Golden Arches or the Nike Swoosh. So, that’s something to look forward to.

Is there, honestly, any form of suffering on this planet that doesn’t make money for companies?

Yes, but Frank, what about the Hadron collider?

Kill me.

I, for one, am sick of waiting for an alien entity to come out of the sky and say, Right, you fuckers, we’re taking over, and yer better all behave. Because, in case you haven’t noticed, most of the world still lives in hell. I don’t know if that alien is coming.

And our best chance is probably the goddamn Terminator.

So fuck it, I’ll be putting down my peanut butter sandwiches and stepping outside my front door and saying:

Dear AI Hurry the fuck up and take us over and either destroy us or improve us. I don’t mind which one you choose, but it must be better than this goddamn shit, so make it quick, alright? All the best, FTB

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