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Mike Knittel's avatar

good one FTB. I just pushed out a shit myself. and I used my bidet a little longer than necessary. that water stream feels great on my anus

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Ginger Cook (GC)'s avatar

Damnit Mike

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Patrick Eades's avatar

Crunchy?! Wtf. That's... Intriguing.

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David Charles's avatar

Frank, ya seem to have some issues.

Actually, you SEEM TO BE AN issue.

I am pretty sure I wouldn't trust your ass as a cellmate in an insane asylum, though I would , however, demand & make sure you're the one I had to share s foxhole with.

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Arthur Rosch's avatar

And there's this poem, written in the 24th century by Rooney Al-Udin. I truly regard this as a work of pure genius.

There's shit on my shoes;

cat shit, dog shit, I hope that's all shit.

Every step I risk landing in shit:

Is this not life? There's nothing wrong with shit.

We need shit, desperately

to nourish with its stink all things that grow.

This poo is for you, it says, as I wipe off my shoe

then rattle my hands, and wash

again and again. How often in a day do I inwardly say,

"Shit!"? More than I would admit. My mind is full of bricks, pies and purges.

Cats, dogs, owls, horses, all have the same urges. People shit,

there’s shit from space, the universe shits on these very shoes

which I try so hard to keep clean. Many are obsessed

with the haunt of e.coli. I COULD say

"Relax, we intermix with e.coli and far worse

every day. We are sturdy,

repelling fecal blight, undaunted

by the invisible spores of imagination". Instead I give this benediction:

"You can be crazy any way you want."

Not every disease is preventable, nor is every ill brought home

by the shit on our shoes. When I stroke the cat, the dog, the horse

my hands investigate bacteria, resist infection.

After all, shit is the most common thing in the world.

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Arthur Rosch's avatar

According to the Proto-Buddhist teacher Donna Kayak, all constipation is regarded as a holy experience of the uncertainty of the Physical World's toilet problems. Right, FTB? Uncertainty Principle plus Lomotil creates an actual Material Plane where we go to get alligator-skin condoms. I can't put it any better than that.

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Arthur Rosch's avatar

Aw,man, you're inspiring. I gotta do better than just nonsense. Donna Kayak is funny. Gotta add that to my list of funny names.

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Lilith Dahlia's avatar

Gross dude.

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Jul 25, 2024
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Frank T Bird's avatar

They didn’t teach you that? Damn the health system is screwed.

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Jul 25, 2024
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Frank T Bird's avatar

Thanks, Nurse K. Appreciate ya 😘

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David Charles's avatar

Wait, the anus has a cervix?

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