10 Comments
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David Perlmutter's avatar

"...his eyebrows act like we’ve been friends for twenty years and I just fucked his wife..."

You and your metaphors.

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Wayne Johnson's avatar

You are, what we used to say back in the prehistoric days; Rude, crude, and socially unacceptable. I fucking love it. Great writing an keep it coming. You made my morning!

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Frank T Bird's avatar

Thanks, my man. Hope you are well ⚡️

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David Charles's avatar

Everything goes with gin & tonic. Well, perhaps not chicken.

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Arthur Rosch's avatar

Good morning, class! Now who can tell me what exactly is a cunt? Yes, Aretha. Do you know?

"Miss Titticum", she says, "I've never heard that word before." Miss Titticum frowns. "You better go talk to Frank T Bird because he is the universe's expert on cunts." But ma'am, do I have time to make a sandwich first?

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overflowing ashtray's avatar

My dirty, dirty minded bruv, you have crossed a new Rubicon. Why aren't you on a reality TV cooking show?

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Frank T Bird's avatar

Seems like it. Let’s see how it pans out. Hope you’re well ashtray old

Mate 🙏

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Jim Ladd's avatar

Ah, the wisdom of the aged. Spot on

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Van Ivey's avatar

Good one Frank. Watch out for that Greek fucker.

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Parker McCoy's avatar

Hehe. Mikey may want to go into a different profession, unless he comes back gung-ho and then, maybe, he deserves to be a chef. I felt like I was in an episode of Hell's Kitchen here and like I was hearing the contestant's actual (unscripted) thoughts out loud. Very nice tale, Frank. Thanks for sharing.

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