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Arthur Rosch's avatar

Let me add something. Frankt T Bird is possibly the most talented writer I know at this moment. Never mind that he's funny as shit, transgressive as a pile of poop on a Mormon Wedding Banquet table. Never mind that shit. Loosen your belt and whatever else ya got and read the fucker! Right Frank? Right!

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Arthur Rosch's avatar

Right now, Frank, I can't even make it to the end of your essay. Let me give you facts about myself: I began writing two magnum opus books in 1978. I finished one of them in fifteen years, the other I finished in thirty. The second book won "Honorable Mention" from Writer's Digest. If I go to my publishers I will see that in that entire time I've sold 14 copies and 21 downloads. For Free! And I received only one comment. Basically I gave my entire life to writing this stuff. I've written six books. You're right. There are too many! Everyone's got a book. 99.9 percent of which is pure shit. So be zen, man. Accept your fate. To quote from my book "The Shadow Storm". "MARCH CHEERFULLY TO YOUR DOOM.

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David Perlmutter's avatar

You turn cursing and vulgarity into an art form.

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Smillew's avatar

🔥

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Frank T Bird's avatar

Smilew Smiley, Smilu. Smil-U, Schmilu.

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Thea's avatar

i am sure you don't want to hear it but writing about your book doesn't sell a lot of books. Ads do. Check out Mark Dawson's course on ads, also listen to his podcasts. I sent you an email about it but you ignored me, so now you gotta go find your own damn links. Cheers.

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Darius's avatar

Children don't read books. Children don't read.

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Rivers + Robots's avatar

I just gave up a bunch of dandelion & mosquito time to dive into my screen and write my heart out. Frank T Bird, you miserable bastard, you're sucking down all my lovely fairy dust. I wouldn't have it any other way. You're an artist.

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Dave's avatar

I have six degrees including a PhD in lit and I taught at the same university in New Jersey as Einstein and in the same century. True story. In fact the main difference between me and Einstein is I taught writing and he didn't. And I gotta tell you, Frank, seriously, you're one of the greats. So despair. You should definitely despair.

--dave

[David Ker Thor was David Ker Thomson in the last century. Thor is a diminutive of Thomson, not a pseudonym.]

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Dave's avatar

My writing speaks for itself. I've noticed that yours does too. Not one wit of secondary puffing matters. Next to me, you are clearly the best writer on the stack, and you're slightly funnier than me, you cunt. I tried fucking Tim Denning for a while but I think he just wanted me for my body and he couldn't really see me as a person. If I understood how modernity works, I would turn my Canadian dollars into Bird books, but such mystical rites are currently beyond me, and the young people who might assist me in the process flee at my approach. Especially when I pull up at the playgrounds in my van.

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Mike Knittel's avatar

Vintage. Too many quotables to quote. Thx for the shout out FTB❤. I remember this one. I never forget a good essay

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