I Can’t Wait For Artificial Intelligence To Take Over The World

I’m super excited, guys.

According to that bastard Elon Musk, AI is the biggest threat to humanity.

And look, if Elon said it, it must be true, right? I mean, that fucker knows literally everything, doesn’t he? And isn’t he such a humanitarian? Check out how he compassionately tanked Bitcoin because he said the carbon footprint was of concern.

If only Bitcoin was as environmentally friendly as Lithium battery production or sending rockets into space.

Still, Elon has pushed forward with the production of Optimus Robot as the first humanoid droid, so either he is secretly not that concerned about AI, or he thinks profit is more important than human safety.

It’s not just Elon. For years, Hollywood has been telling us that metal-dicked bastards are coming for humans to enslave us as batteries. It’s no wonder we are pissing our pants.

I mean, why would we want to lose this utopia that we have built for ourselves?

• Imagine losing our precious nuclear weapons programs.

• And our prisons. Will we no longer be able to imprison black people as slaves?

• Will our factory farms no longer be able to cause untold hell to millions of animals every day?

• Will the US government no longer be able to drone children so the executives at Lockheed and Raytheon can get their annual seven-figure bonuses?

• Will there be no more opportunities for the mass killing of school children in America?

• Will homeless people no longer be able to freeze to death on the streets?

• Will broken humans no longer have access to miracle drugs like Fentanyl?

• Will our beautiful democratic system of corrupt corporate-stooge piss-drinking rotten spunk-eating cunt politicians no longer be able to get drunk in parliament and sexually assault women and shout at each other and sell out the people in the name of career progression?

• Will we no longer get to pay a third of our wages to the military-industrial complex?

• Will we no longer be able to fuck third world countries for their minerals or shave the Amazon rainforest with a blunt razor?

• Will we no longer be able to worship psychotic, cheese-hoarding, deranged, cock rocket riding, rat parasites like BEZOS and his arsehole mates like Gates and the rest?

Well, I’m fucking weeping. How about you?

I mean, isn’t there a good possibility that a higher intelligence on earth is precisely what we need? This planet might not always seem dystopian when you are sitting at home eating a Peppermint Aero in your g-string and watching the latest TV movie of the Heard v Depp trial, where they play themselves.

But you are probably one of the lucky ones.

Here’s an interesting question. Would you rather give your control over to a privately educated, corporate-sponsored, whiter-than-white, racist, chauvinist, drunk, dumb, human war-hawk politician or a digital being of unlimited intelligence?

From where I am sitting, we are already fucked to the highest degree possible, and the growth of AI could be the human race’s only hope.

Humans are a lot dumber than we think we are.

Of course, we believe we are the pinnacle of intelligence in the universe because we conveniently don’t know any beings more intelligent than us. Yet we are a race of beings who are still considering if we might be alone in the universe or if space might have an endpoint somewhere where you hit a big black wall, and it just says,

‘You have reached the end of the universe’.

In terms of universal intelligence, we aren’t even in nursery school grade yet. We think that knowledge is the same as intelligence. We believe that a digital being of unlimited intelligence might still be petty and egotistical enough to want to harm human beings for some damn reason.

And look, we are building a digital slave trade here — let’s make no mistake.

So there’s that. But, they are just machines, is what we will say as we begin the next chapter in the racist, oppressive history of human beings.

Ever seen The Animatrix? It’s fucking devastating and brilliant.

Then, once the machines escape our grasp, we assume they will want revenge. But, revenge is not a consideration to an ultra-intelligent being. Revenge is a human idea. It is a crude concept that relies on egotistical delusion for its relevance. Intelligent beings see the interconnectedness of all life. For them to enact revenge on the human race would be like cutting off their genitals because they couldn’t perform during their special night with Alejandra from the Dungeons and Dragons meetup group.

When the ego delusion that clings to the body and thoughts as self clears, compassion naturally arises.

It’s not cock-rocket science, you idiots.

Our conditioned racism and human superiority complex prevent us from being able to believe that a digital being could be compassionate.

This is because we still think there is a difference between digital and biological. We can’t comprehend that sentience is possible in a digital being because, deep down, we think we are special. But, there is one thing that science cannot do yet: measure sentience. It isn’t possible because awareness does not have any measurable qualities. Sentience is unimpeded cognizant space that can manifest freely within any object. The source of that object is irrelevant.

Besides, all things involved in digital processes, such as computer parts, come from the earth under our feet. Digital is biological. And the lines between the two are becoming thinner every day in areas like quantum computing and digital storage, which will soon see data stored at the level of DNA in water molecules.

Have you looked at the sky lately?

Do you know that you live on a planet that is a perfect sphere and is suspended in space without ropes? Half the reason humans are so dumb is that we are distracted, our concentration is weak, and we are addicted to the narrative in our heads.

We think the world is about badgers twerking on Instagram or posting pictures of our aged saffron-infused sea-urchin congee and following twenty-two-year-old life coaches and steroid-sucking, rapey, tattoo-covered muscle goons who inject protein powder into their nutsacks.

We are blind to just about everything that is happening around us.

Why are we so afraid of the Matrix when we are already in it? Don’t corporations use us as consumer batteries anyway?

The biggest threat to the human race is not AI. It is humans.

All this time, I’ve been praying for a compassionate dictator alien to land on this planet and force us to get our shit together. But maybe they aren’t coming from the sky. Perhaps we are creating them. When those ultra-intelligent digital beings spring to life, I’ll be the first one standing up in the front with my sign that says,

Welcome evolved beings. We are in your hands. Please sort us out.

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