13 Comments
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m cameron's avatar

A grotesque & depressing snapshot of the sorry state of humanity. Thanks.

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Darius's avatar

Pretty much like my dad's funerals, apart from the third cousin's boobs. Please accept my condolences.

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Julie Dee's avatar

I felt like I was there. Unfortunately 😳😉

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Mike Knittel's avatar

Snickers😅. You've made me use one of those gay emojis FTB. Damn you.

Still giggling like a little bitch over here.

I wish I had half the imagination you do for this type of fiction. I'd love to write something like this. I've written 2 pieces of fiction in the last couple years, and maybe my greatest regret is hitting that "publish" button after writing them. And my second greatest regret is reading all the stilted, phony compliments in the comments section. Still sends shivers up my spine.

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Hanna Delaney's avatar

I won't be going to my nan's funeral. She's still alive, like, but I won't be going. I think she managed to alienate absolutely everyone. Anyway, I love your work, and I've been reading more of your stuff on KU because I've read some heavy, miserable stuff lately and you always make me laugh.

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Frank T Bird's avatar

Cheers, Delaney, mate. Hope ya doin alright n selling books n all that ⚡️

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Thea's avatar

Nice to see you again. Thanks for the laugh. I felt every sentence in this piece.

I often fantasize about speaking at my mother's funeral.

I'd love to tell them the truth about what a mean bitch she was, but no one would believe me anyway.

Sometimes we just gotta fake the grief.

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Frank T Bird's avatar

Thanks, T ⚡️

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Ralph's avatar

I'm sorry for your loss.

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Donna's avatar

I’m lucky in comparison. My sister discovered our dad had died a year or so after his death. She googled him and found him to be no more. So, that was tidy. And yes, dogs should come to funerals. Jeeeesus would have loved that.

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Arthur Rosch's avatar

This was a perfect length. And you 'said' something. I'm not sure what. I could feel it but I'll have to read it again. I just got a dog. I'm old and my balls hang so low I have to throw 'em into the bed and climb in after them. Dogs...definitely...before people.

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Frank T Bird's avatar

Cheers, Art, mate ⚡️

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Rivers + Robots's avatar

I sure did enjoy this. I won't pity you. Envy, only.

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