Welcome To The Age of the Supermarket Nazi

We're slowly plunging toward 'Children of Men' territory

Frank T Bird

May 24, 2024

People always bitchin bout the cost of livin’

One minute yer chewing on fillet

The next yer eatin’ cow’s willet.

— MC Footjob 1998

And yeah it's fucking expensive to breathe air all of a sudden.

And we’re talking about this cost of living crisis like it's a real thing like all of these walking gonads in suits do with all matters of the imaginary economy.

But Frank, the economy is a very real —

Fuck you, okay, you delusional prick. I’ll tell you what’s real. People need to fucking eat. That’s all.

Food, shelter, medicine, education, and art are all the most essential services yet they are gradually becoming less available to anyone who doesn’t drink from the toilet bowl of daddy’s trust fund or grind their genitals on a belt sander daily like Gary Vee.

And ya don't have to stick yer beak very far down the stink hole to find the problem.

There are two major supermarkets here in Victoria, Australia.

There’s Woolworths, which also happened to be the name of the British department store where I began my shoplifting career in the nineties.

Then there is Coles, which Americans will know as the department store in Miracle on 69th Street, a movie about John Hammond, creator of dinosaur parks, during his Santa phase.

There are also a group of smaller supermarkets called IGA (Independent Grocers of Australia). I tend to avoid the one closest to me, due to it being attended by a cartel of organised fake homeless bastards and a particular heroin addict who has this blonde, well-washed flowing hair like Fabio which makes me want to go all Harry Brown on him and the rest of those fuckers.

Less than eighteen months ago, you could still go to any of these shops with a crisp fiddy and walk out with a couple of days shopping for two people.

Not no more, motherfuckers.

I’d estimate that in recent times prices at these supermarkets have fucking tripled.

Oh yeah, it’s the cost of living, isn’t it?

Jeez, I hope the supermarkets don’t go out of business, Clive. Where on earth will we buy our rubbers? I can’t afford to get pregnant due to the cost of living.

Don’t worry, Darling, there’s always the chemist.

So ya think, fuck, well that's just the times, isn’t it?

It must be the tension in the Middle East that makes carrots more expensive
Or the changing climate
Or the bearish action on the FTSE 100
Or the death of that benevolent Iranian leader.

Yeah, that’s it. It’s a political price rise.

Some time ago, the supermarkets stopped using real people to check out your groceries.

They said they made it more streamlined by using automated systems. In truth, those automated systems were always there, they just had miserable fourteen-year-old Pokemon heads scanning your groceries for you. Now you have to do it yourself. And do you get a discount for doing all the legwork?

Not a fucking chance.

Because supermarkets are fucking criminals.

They store your fruit in gas for months before you serve it to your kids.
They buy up all of a farmer's crop then dump the prices they pay.
They are dirty criminals — the lowest of the low.

And now, as the cost of living shoots our supermarket bills to triple their price, we watch in horror as these parasitic organisations release their financial data.

And yes, it's not only their prices that have gone up but also their profits. (source)

This means that the cost of living causing their prices to go up is nothing but utter horseshit.

They aren’t victims of the cost of living crisis. They are a major cause of it.

Oh but it’s interest rates and —

Fuck you. If interest rates absorbed the price rises, the profits would have stayed the same.

And now, Coles and Woolworths have spent some of those profits on new security gates so you can't just walk out anymore.

They have also splurged on these undercover thugs with earpieces who spy on you while you shop and follow you, taking you out the back if you try to nick something.

They say these measures are due to an increase in shoplifting.

Well, what a fucking surprise. You tripled your prices and people have to steal, you absolute shitstains.

Tell me again how an increase in GDP leads to a lower crime rate and a safer society.

My wife and I watched as an old geezer in his seventies at least was led out the back by these two goons. It made my wife cry. I wanted to kick the shit out of them but I thought,

These fucking goons also need to eat.

They’re feeding their families too by arresting this impoverished old man for stealing a packet of noodles. It’s the supermarket executives that need the shit kicked out of them.

Also, you can’t even call someone a badger fiddler these days without getting arrested.

I’d say stop shopping with the bastards. Shop at your local greengrocer instead.

But it’s not gonna happen is it?

We’ll all go ‘Yeah, those fucking bastards’ and then slip down aisle three like good citizens complaining about how the crunchy peanut butter is seven dollars a jar before quietly slipping it into our shopping basket and lowering our eyes.

Blessed be the fruit.

Because that’s who we are now.

It’s too late to fight back. We’re under their control.

And it won’t be long before we all have our heads in the fucking metaverse 24/7 and the corporations will be free to do whatever they fucking want in the world.

Shred the fucking rainforest, plunder the sea. Who gives a fuck. No one is watching anymore.

We’re all too busy getting sucked off by zeros and ones.

And those kids demonstrating at universities think they’re fighting for a righteous cause. But sadly they’re just taking sides in a government v government Wag the Dog war which continues to feed Lockheed, Raytheon and the rest of the demonic weapons companies.

Those kids would be better off demonstrating against corporate control of the food, medicine, shelter, education and arts industries.