21 Comments
User's avatar
Reuben Salsa's avatar

I came here for the wanking and all I got was a chicken sandwich? So disappointed 😉

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Dave's avatar

I love nonfiction.

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House of Neglected Poetry's avatar

Well, this was quite a good wank of a story!

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bluePNWcats's avatar

Frank, this was the first story of yours that I have read, but I can tell it definitely won't be the last! Great story! 😁

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Richbee's avatar

I once found a seagull with an arrow through its neck lying on the ground. A protected species but the arrow made its mark. I got the point. At least head not in a jar with jam on face. Which is worse suffocation or unable to swallow? Donations accepted to seagulls society for battered birds.

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David Perlmutter's avatar

I still remember reading this first on Medium. Back then, I thought: "This guy is strange." Fortunately, I like things that are strange.

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Auntidote's avatar

Insanely funny. Can't look at a deli sandwich without wondering whether its wank worthy.

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Harry's avatar

“Which of these sandwiches do you think is most wank worthy?” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 great read 👍👍

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Paul Wittenberger's avatar

Great story—Loved it!

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Dave's avatar

Amazing, really loved that, thank you

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Animal mineral and vegetable's avatar

Came for the seagull picture stayed for the sandwich wank. This has given me faith in Substack again. Top notch

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Courageous Lion's avatar

Thank you. They say laughter is the best medicine. Well, I laughed my ass off about a half dozen times reading that post.

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Loic's avatar

A lovely story

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Henya Drescher's avatar

Frank, I just love you. You make me smile, which is awkward as I try to balance heavy dumbbells over my head. Chest day today...and no wanking.

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Luna Jane Parker's avatar

I can’t live here anymore.

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EFS's avatar

I'm in.

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