Chat GBH Aint Your Spiritual Teacher

Your AI doesn’t love you, it predicts you. A sharp, irreverent essay on fake connection, pattern recognition, and why Dharma still wins.

Apr 15 • Frank T Bird

13

4

2

Can Trans People Become Enlightened?

Divisi sumus infirmiores

Apr 12 • Frank T Bird

16

3

5

No One Gives a Fuck Anymore

I woke up on this shitty bench.

Apr 9 • Frank T Bird

29

5

4

February 2026

Dopamine is Dead. Long Live Dopamine

Meditation, meat prices, and the temporary death of joy

Feb 1 • Frank T Bird

36

7

7

January 2026

Get a Grip

Seriously. You need a fucking word in your hairy dinner plate ear, you cunt.

Jan 16 • Frank T Bird

67

33

21

September 2025

Diner 2030

Old enough to crave the old times

Sep 10, 2025 • Frank T Bird

28

5

2

My Hotel Got Cancelled

Fuck Off

Sep 6, 2025 • Frank T Bird

27

9

5

August 2025

Hideous Book Covers are a Fucking Epidemic

As writers, we need to walk our own paths

Aug 27, 2025 • Frank T Bird

36

13

8

The Strange Reality of Childbirth

An inescapable fly in your créme caramel

Aug 20, 2025 • Frank T Bird

14

3

3

How To Be a Man in 2025

Listen up, you fannies.

Aug 17, 2025 • Frank T Bird

45

11

8

How To Be Cool

True cool is pure acceptance, not knobhead hipster behaviour

Aug 14, 2025 • Frank T Bird

42

14

9

There's no Fun in Funeral

Just don't pity me, okay?

Aug 2, 2025 • Frank T Bird

37

13

12