My Career is Flapping in the Wind Like That Plastic Bag in American Beauty

Sometimes it feels like there’s so much beauty in the world that I’m going to soil my drawers

May 11 • Frank T Bird

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8

3

April 2026

2026 is a Golden Age For Writers

God bless us, everyone.

Apr 26 • Frank T Bird

21

4

8

Chat GBH Aint Your Spiritual Teacher

Your AI doesn’t love you, it predicts you. A sharp, irreverent essay on fake connection, pattern recognition, and why Dharma still wins.

Apr 15 • Frank T Bird

20

7

2

Can Trans People Become Enlightened?

Divisi sumus infirmiores

Apr 12 • Frank T Bird

16

3

5

No One Gives a Fuck Anymore

I woke up on this shitty bench.

Apr 9 • Frank T Bird

30

5

4

February 2026

Dopamine is Dead. Long Live Dopamine

Meditation, meat prices, and the temporary death of joy

Feb 1 • Frank T Bird

36

7

7

January 2026

Get a Grip

Seriously. You need a fucking word in your hairy dinner plate ear, you cunt.

Jan 16 • Frank T Bird

67

33

21

September 2025

Diner 2030

Old enough to crave the old times

Sep 10, 2025 • Frank T Bird

28

5

2

My Hotel Got Cancelled

Fuck Off

Sep 6, 2025 • Frank T Bird

27

9

5

August 2025

Hideous Book Covers are a Fucking Epidemic

As writers, we need to walk our own paths

Aug 27, 2025 • Frank T Bird

36

13

8

The Strange Reality of Childbirth

An inescapable fly in your créme caramel

Aug 20, 2025 • Frank T Bird

14

3

3

How To Be a Man in 2025

Listen up, you fannies.

Aug 17, 2025 • Frank T Bird

45

11

8